Escape to Paradise: Uncover the Ritz-Carlton Abama's Tenerife Secrets
Okay, Hold onto Your Hats. We're Diving Deep into the Ritz-Carlton Abama, Tenerife (and My Brain for Now)
Right, so, you're thinking of Tenerife? Sun, sand, maybe a little volcano action? And you’re looking at the Ritz-Carlton Abama? Smart move. But let me tell you, researching this place is like trying to wrangle a flock of flamingos. There's so much. This isn't your average hotel review; this is… well, it's me trying to spill everything (and maybe a little coffee, I'm a klutz) about a place that screams "luxury" louder than a peacock in a church.
Let's start with the basics. Accessibility? Big Check.
Look, I don't need a wheelchair myself, but I've seen some hotels that treat accessibility like an afterthought. The Abama, though? They seem to have actually thought about it. They have facilities for disabled guests, an elevator, and I’m pretty sure I even saw a ramp that would make Indy Jones jealous. They've got you covered, which is a HUGE relief. I'd absolutely hate to see someone struggling to navigate, you know?
But Enough About Practicalities! Let's Get to the Good Stuff! (And the Slightly Messy Bits…)
(Deep Breath) Okay, where to start? This place is a beast. Think of it as a sprawling, cliffside village, all terracotta roofs and bougainvillea spilling everywhere. It's gorgeous, okay? GORGEOUS. I mean, I'm usually pretty cynical, but walking in, I actually gasped. No, seriously. I gasped.
Rooms, Oh My God, the Rooms…
Right. The rooms. (Rambles) Okay, so you want the honest truth? I spent, like, a ridiculous amount of time in my room just… being in my room. The blackout curtains? Divine. The bed? Like sleeping on a cloud woven from unicorn hair and pure joy. They have everything you could possibly need: a desk, Wi-Fi (and it’s FREE and works!), coffee maker, an extra-long bed (because apparently, I have a growing complex), and that bathroom. Oh, the bathroom. With a separate shower and a bathtub? Hello, self-care! I spent so much time in there that I had to be dragged out. Honestly, the only downside was the lack of a personal butler to draw my bath. I mean, they should probably offer that. It would complete the experience.
(Sighs) Okay, back to reality. They have… Oh, they have a lot of room types. I hear there are interconnecting rooms available if you're traveling with the family, and non-smoking rooms are available. They have everything you might need. (Like, a safe? Yes. A place to put your laptop? Yes. Extra towels? Yes. Like a lot of them)
Internet: Because We Live in the Digital Age
Thank God for reliable internet. I mean, you’re on vacation to unplug, right? (Raises eyebrow) But sometimes, you need to check emails, post an Instagram story of your amazing breakfast, or just doomscroll for a bit. (Don't judge.) The Abama has amazing free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Plus, they have internet [LAN] and internet services in case you need it.
Food, Glorious Food! (And My Near-Death Experience with a Croissant)
This is where things get… interesting. The Abama is a culinary paradise. And I mean, PARADISE. The breakfast buffet alone could be a legitimate religion. (Sorry, I might be slightly hung up on breakfast. I have a problem.)
- Breakfast [buffet], Buffet in Restaurant, Asian Breakfast, Western Breakfast: It has it all… and maybe a little bit too much. There's everything from fresh fruit and pastries (the croissants!), to eggs cooked a million different ways, to Asian-inspired dishes. The sheer volume is overwhelming. I swear, I started getting the sweats just looking at it. I tried one of those croissants, and I swear, I almost died from pure, unadulterated pleasure. It was so good, I may have gone back for seconds… okay, and thirds.
- Restaurants, A la carte in Restaurant, Asian Cuisine in Restaurant, International Cuisine in Restaurant, Vegetarian Restaurant, Desserts in Restaurant: The Abama has a ton of amazing restaurants. I'm particularly fond of the Japanese place; the sushi, the service… chef's kiss. They have restaurants with Asian cuisine, Western cuisine, and there's even a Vegetarian Restaurant. Seriously, you'll never go hungry.
- Poolside Bar, Bar, Coffee/Tea in Restaurant, Coffee Shop, Happy Hour: They have a bar, because let's be honest, you'll be at that bar at some point. Plus, a coffee shop and they even have a happy hour!
- Room Service [24-hour]: Yes, because who wants to leave their amazing room?
- Snack Bar: Sometimes a snack is all you need in between meals.
- Bottle of water: They give you bottled water. Thank God.
- …And then there are all the other things: Like, A la carte food, the coffee, the desserts, the soups… Oh, the soups.
The One Thing I NEEDED to Talk About: The Spa (and My Body Scrub Revelation)
Okay, prepare yourself. This is where I went full-on "treat yo'self." The spa at the Abama is… well, it’s legendary.
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Foot bath, Sauna, Steamroom: I spent a glorious afternoon getting utterly pampered. I got a body scrub (which I highly recommend). I was skeptical, I admit. I was like, "Yeah, yeah, a scrub. Whatever." But guys? My skin has never felt so soft. Seriously, like a baby's bottom. I considered staying in the spa forever. My massage was so good, it made me want to cry (in a good way). The sauna and steam room were perfect for relaxation.
- Pool with view, Swimming pool: And, of course, the view from the pool. It's breathtaking. Like, actually breathtaking.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: For the more athletic people, the fitness center is there.
Things to Do! (Besides Eating and Spa-ing)
Okay, so you might actually want to, like, do something. The Abama can help with that.
- Things to do: They have it all! From golf to watersports to just lounging by the pool.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Which, did I mention, is amazing?
- For the kids, Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: If you have kids, then this is what you need.
- Wellness: So many ways to relax.
Cleanliness and Safety? Oh Yeah, They Thought of That Too.
I know, I know, in these times, it's a major concern. The Abama, though, is on it.
- Cleanliness and safety: They have hygiene certifications. They have a doctor on call.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: They have everything. They're taking it seriously. It's reassuring, honestly.
Services and Conveniences: Because You're Worth It
- Services and conveniences, Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: Yes, they thought of everything. Seriously. Everything. Including some things I didn't even know I needed.
The Quirks (And the Minor Gripes)
(Puts on a more critical face) Look, it's not perfect. No place is. There were a few minor things:
- The staff, bless their hearts, are very attentive (sometimes a little too much). I felt like I needed an escape route to avoid the constant offers of assistance, but I'll take that over bad service any day.
Conclusion: Should You Go? (HECK YES!)
Look, despite my occasional ramblings and near-death experiences with
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a week of sun-drenched luxury – and maybe a whole lotta existential pondering – at The Ritz-Carlton Tenerife, Abama. Prepare for the slightly chaotic, gloriously messy, and utterly human travel itinerary, because let’s be honest, perfect plans are boring.
Day 1: Arrival, "Wow" Effect, and the Great Swimsuit Debacle
- Morning (ish): Landed in Tenerife South Airport! Whew. Survived baggage claim (always a battle, am I right?). The Ritz-Carlton transfer arrived in a sleek Mercedes. Feeling fancy already. Actually, scratch that, feeling slightly nervous until someone opens the door for me, then full throttle fancy.
- Afternoon: Check-in. The lobby. The view. HOLY MOTHER OF… It's breathtaking. Like, jaw-on-the-floor, Instagram-worthy, "is this real life?" breathtaking. They gave me a welcome drink that tasted like sunshine and victory over jet lag. I swear, the concierge smiled at me like I was royalty. I almost cried. (Don't judge, I’m emotional.)
- The Great Swimsuit Debacle: This is where it all went…well, not wrong, necessarily, but… interesting. My meticulously planned swimsuit collection clearly knew I was coming, and decided to stage a disappearing act. Turns out, after searching through my entire suitcase again, only one swimsuit made it, and it's the one I’d secretly been a little self-conscious about. Fine. Facing my fears, and my thighs, at the adult pool.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Settled in my room (ocean view, naturally – because I’m worth it, damn it). The balcony is heaven. Unpacked, or more accurately, ‘threw clothes vaguely into the closet’. A quick dip in the pool to test the waters (pun intended). Pre-dinner drinks at the bar. Tried a cocktail called 'Sunset Serenade' which, ironically, made me want to cry. Went to dinner at El Mirador. Seafood, views, more views. Fell in love with something with prawns, I think. Possibly everything. Jet lag is kicking in - good night world.
Day 2: Golf, Spa, and the Existential Crisis of Palm Trees
- Morning: Alarm clock! (Ugh.) Golf. (Double ugh.) I'm not a golfer. I'm the person who accidentally hits the ball into the bushes. But, I made a friend who’s pretty good. He showed me how to hold the club (I think). Didn't lose any balls immediately. Victory! The course itself is stunning, though. The views… look, I'm over it.
- Mid-morning/Afternoon: Spa time. Needed. Massages, facials, the whole shebang. The therapist spoke to me like she actually cared about my stress. It was sublime. Floating in the seawater pool, I had a profound thought: "What is the purpose of a palm tree?" Followed by, "Am I truly happy?" The answer to both questions, so far, seems to be "maybe."
- Late Afternoon: Lounging by the pool. More swimsuit-related self-consciousness. People-watching is the best sport. Ate a fruity drink, then found myself on a sunbed. The sun got a little extra aggressive and so did the sunscreen, leading to an angry shade of red.
- Evening: Dinner at Kabuki (Japanese Restaurant). The food was incredibly delicious! Sat at the sushi counter. Watched the chef create perfect little works of art. The wine list was longer than my arm, and I'm a short person.
Day 3: Beach Day (Sand, Sea, and Severe Sunburn)
- Morning: Beach walk. The black sand is strangely mesmerizing. Actually sat on it. Got sand everywhere.
- Mid-morning/Afternoon: Beach! Now, this is where my brilliant plan to avoid excessive sun exposure went sideways. Chased the shade, but the sun is sneaky. Suffered from a bad sunburn, that I later named "Clarence".
- Anecdote: Found a delightful little beach shack that had ice cream and drinks. The waiter was the friendliest person I'd met all week. He recommended a local dessert. We then tried a "local mojito" which was so good, it made me forget about the sunburn for a few minutes. Regret the sunburn, love the mojito.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Back to the hotel. Showered. Applied excessive amounts of aloe vera. Decided to watch a movie. Went to the restaurant, felt too shy and ate a snack in my room.
Day 4: Teide National Park Adventure (Altitude Sickness and Celestial Wonders)
- Morning: Up early, fighting off the last vestiges of the mojito haze. The hotel arranged a guided tour to Teide National Park. Buckled up, excited and nervous.
- Mid-morning: Driving up the volcano. The landscape is otherworldly. Truly incredible. But… altitude. I got a headache. And felt lightheaded. Not fun. But the views are incredible. Still.
- Afternoon: The cable car to the summit – OMG. The air is thin. The views are epic. Felt like I was on another planet. Briefly considered taking up astronomy. Then remembered I can barely work my TV remote.
- Quirky Observation: Saw a guy wearing a full-body Star Wars suit. In a volcano. No explanation needed.
- Evening: Back at the hotel. Ate a massive meal. Fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.
Day 5: Wandering, Wine, and the Search for Inner Peace (Lost and Found)
- Morning: Wandering around the hotel gardens. The flowers are gorgeous. Got lost. Multiple times. Clearly, I’m not great with directions.
- Mid-morning/Afternoon: Wine tasting session. Finally, something right up my alley! Tasted some of the local Tenerife wines. Found a red that I wanted to take home. Slightly tipsy.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Tried to find Inner Peace. Book in hand, went to all the quiet spots in the hotel. Failed. Eventually gave up and had a pizza in my room. Found peace in the pepperoni.
Day 6: More Pool Time, Paella Perfection, and the Farewell Blues
- Morning: Back to the pool. Sunscreen and a wide-brimmed hat: Operation Avoid Sunburn Part Deux. Success! Mostly.
- Mid-morning/Afternoon: Cooking class! Learned how to make Paella. Ate Paella. Fell in love with Paella. Made a mess. Laughed a lot.
- Evening: The farewell dinner. One last sunset. One last cocktail. Getting choked up just thinking about it. Realized I didn’t want to leave.
Day 7: Departure and the Promise of Return
- Morning: Sad packing. One last breakfast overlooking the ocean. A promise to come back.
- Afternoon: The transfer. The airport. The farewell wave.
- Evening: Back home. Already planning the next trip.
Final Thoughts (and some Real Talk):
This trip wasn't perfect. I got sunburned. I got lost. I had moments of self-doubt. But it was amazing. The Ritz-Carlton Tenerife, Abama is pure luxury. And even more importantly, I discovered (again) that even the most carefully planned trip can throw curveballs, but that's what makes it real. So, go. Get messy. Embrace the imperfections. And order the Paella. You won't regret it. Now, to start saving for next year…
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Escape to Paradise: The Ritz-Carlton Abama - My Honest (Rambling) FAQs
Okay, so... Abama. Is it REALLY worth the hype? Be honest.
Ugh, the hype. It's EVERYWHERE. And honestly? It's complicated. Part of me wants to say "YES! A resounding, champagne-spraying YES!" because, let's be real, it *is* breathtaking. But... and this is a big but (pun intended, the pool situation is glorious)... it's also a bit... manufactured. Like, perfect to the point of almost being unsettling.
So, the honest answer? It depends what you're after. If you crave pure, unadulterated luxury, impeccable service (and I mean, they know your name and your preferred type of water before you even breathe!), and stunning views – well, Abama delivers. If you’re after authentic Tenerife, raw and untamed, don’t expect to find that. You’ll find a curated version, a polished gem. Think Hollywood version of Tenerife, not gritty, real-life Tenerife. I'll confess, I loved it, but I also felt this weird disconnect, like I was on a particularly fancy film set. More on that later.
The Pools! I've seen the pictures. Tell me about the pools. Are they as Instagrammable as they look?
Oh. My. God. The pools. They are, without exaggeration, a key reason to go to Abama. The pictures? They don't quite do it justice. You know how sometimes you see a picture and think, "Meh, looks okay." Then in reality… BOOM! This is one of those times.
There are *many* pools. Infinity pools, family pools, adult-only pools... literally, you could spend a week just hopping between them. The central pool, overlooking the ocean, is the money shot. But honestly, my favourite was the one near the beach club. Less crowded, with the gentle sound of the waves in the background. I spent a solid afternoon there, reading a book and feeling like I'd accidentally walked into a James Bond movie (minus the danger, thankfully). Just… *breathtaking*. I'm still dreaming of that moment! And yes, they're VERY instagrammable – my feed has never been so glamorous. But also... remember that manufactured vibe I mentioned? It's kinda present poolside too.
What about the rooms? They look pretty swanky. Did you stay in a suite? And was it worth the price tag?
Alright, confession time. I didn't snag a suite. My bank account only stretches so far, and after looking at the suite prices, I had a mini-heart attack. I *did* get a lovely ocean-view room, though, and frankly, it was pretty darn luxurious. The bed was like sleeping on a cloud (and I'm usually a terrible sleeper!), the balcony was perfect for sunset cocktails, and the bathroom… oh, the bathroom. Marble everywhere, a massive soaking tub… I spent far too long just lounging in there.
Was it worth the price of the room I had? Ehhh… that’s a hard one. It wasn't cheap, by any means. But considering the location, the service, and the overall experience, I'd probably say, "Yeah, probably." I mean, I'm not *thrilled* about the dent it left in my wallet, but I also don't regret it. Would I save up for a suite? Maybe, one day. But if I'm being honest? I'd rather have a few more trips and fewer, larger bills.
Food. Because let's be real, I live to eat. Tell me about the food at Abama!
Okay, foodies, listen up! The food at Abama is… well, it's a rollercoaster. There's a LOT of it. Restaurants galore. Michelin stars galore. And, crucially, deliciousness galore. I swear, I practically gained five pounds just looking at the menus.
The breakfast buffet? Don't even get me started. It's a culinary crime scene of the best possible variety. Fresh fruit, pastries that would make a Parisian baker weep with envy, an omelet station… I ate so much, I'm surprised I could still walk. Seriously, my mornings were ruined by the sheer weight of choices. "Should I have the smoked salmon? The chorizo? Oh, look, freshly squeezed orange juice… and waffles!" It was a relentless battle of will. And I usually lost.
The Michelin-starred restaurants were, as expected, superb. But also… a bit stuffy, if I'm being honest. And expensive. Like, "I should probably stay home and eat toast for a week" expensive. The more casual dining options were fantastic too. Especially by the pool. But this is where the curated, manufactured sense I mentioned before reappears. Everything is immaculately presented. Everything is perfectly curated. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely! Would I have preferred a little more 'real' Tenerife food experience? Definitely.
Okay, spill the tea. Any actual disappointments? Things I should know before I go?
Alright, time for the reality check. And yes, there were a few hiccups, mostly minor, but worth mentioning.
Firstly, the beach. It’s stunning, but be prepared for a bit of a hike. Getting down there involves a lift system, which is all very James Bond-esque, cool and practical, but not always convenient. And sometimes (this happened to me once!), the lift breaks down! So you're stranded... with the beach so close. (I may have started to cry, just a little). They fixed it quickly, but it was just one example of the perfect facade wobbling for a moment.
Secondly, and this is more a personal observation, the resort is huge. Massive. You'll be doing a lot of walking (or taking golf carts). Not a massive deal, but if you have mobility issues, or just prefer a more intimate experience, this might not be the best fit. I also felt, on occasion, a bit "lost in the crowd."
And finally… the price. It’s not cheap. I’ve already said it. Factor in everything – the food, the drinks, the activities – and it adds up. Be prepared. Or, you know, win the lottery. I'm not judging.
What about the activities? More than just lounging, right? What did *you* do?
Oh, there's plenty to do beyond bronzing and buffeting. There's a golf course (which I didn't try, because, well, I'm terrible). There's a spa (which I fully embraced, because I'm not terrible at lounging). There are tennis courts, and more.
But my personal highlight? (And this is where I'm going to double-down, because I'm still obsessed) TheBackpacker Hotel Find
