Escape to Paradise: Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club, Nairobi
Escape to Paradise: Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club - A Review with a Side of Chaos
Okay, so you're thinking about ditching reality and escaping to the Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club in Nairobi? Smart move. Let me, your totally unbiased and probably slightly caffeine-fueled reviewer, guide you through this sprawling paradise. Buckle up, because this review isn't your average, polished travel brochure – it's more like your slightly eccentric aunt recounting her latest adventure.
First Impressions & Accessibility (or Lack Thereof)
Right off the bat, let's talk about navigating this place. The Windsor is HUGE. Think sprawling lawns, winding pathways, and enough space to get gloriously lost (which, confession, I did… more than once).
Accessibility: While the hotel boasts "Facilities for disabled guests," the details are… well, vague. I'm not specifically assessing this, but the sheer size and layout give me pause. I'd strongly recommend contacting the hotel directly to confirm specific accessibility details. Don't just rely on what I'm saying here – do your homework! Nobody wants a vacation ruined by a surprise flight of steps.
The Internet Jungle & Digital Detox (Maybe Not?)
Alright, let's talk connectivity. In a world where Wi-Fi is practically oxygen, the Windsor delivers.
- Free Wi-Fi in all Rooms: YES! Praise be! I could actually update my Instagram with those obligatory "living my best life" photos.
- Wi-Fi in Public Areas: And it works! Reliable enough to actually get some work done (or, let's be honest, binge-watch Netflix).
- Internet Access [LAN]: For the old-school networkers, they've got you covered too.
- Internet Services: They have the basics. You're covered. You can post your selfies and check the weather app easily.
Things to Do (and My Questionable Attempts at Them)
This is where the Windsor really shines. It's essentially a self-contained vacation village.
- Swimming Pool and Pool with a View: Multiple pools! The main one? Stunning. The water? Refreshing. My swimming technique? Let's just say I was more splashing than swimming.
- Fitness Center, Gym/Fitness: Okay, I attempted the gym. The equipment looked intimidating, the people looked… fit. Let's just say I spent most of my time people-watching.
- Spa, Spa/Sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap: I did find my happy place: the spa. I opted for a massage, a body scrub, and the blissful relaxation I so desperately needed. I emerged feeling like a new person, albeit a person who now needed a nap.
- Sauna & Foot Bath: The sauna? Hot. The foot bath? Heaven. Do it. Just do it.
- Golf: Yeah, the golf's there, but I don't play. I wouldn't embarrass myself, but I've heard it's good.
- Things to Relax: A very relaxing place!
Dining: A Culinary Adventure (and the Occasional Overeating)
The Windsor is a food-lover's paradise (and a potential diet-killer). Prepare to loosen your belt.
- Restaurants, Bar, Poolside Bar, Coffee Shop, Snack Bar: So many options. Seriously, I felt spoiled for choice.
- Breakfast [Buffet], Asian Breakfast, Western Breakfast: The breakfast buffet is legendary. I may have eaten an entire plate of Kenyan sausages. No regrets. They have variety, even the more unusual request!
- A la carte in Restaurant, Buffet in Restaurant: Everything is available, choose your pick!
- Room Service [24-hour]: This is dangerous. Pure, delicious temptation. Particularly after a long day of… well, everything.
- Vegetarian Restaurant, Asian Cuisine in Restaurant, International Cuisine in Restaurant: This is where the hotels shines, they have everything!
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Salad in restaurant: The small things matters, a nice coffee after a long day, a good salad to reset.
- Happy Hour: Obviously important.
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Secure (and Slightly Paranoid)
In the current climate, this is HUGE. The Windsor makes a real effort:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good! Everyone's doing that.
- Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Excellent!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Reassuring.
- Hand sanitizer, First aid kit: Essential.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Peace of mind.
- Safe dining setup: Makes you feel safer.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Nice.
Services and Conveniences: They Will Pamper You (or Try To)
Seriously, they've thought of almost everything.
- Concierge: Super helpful. They arranged my transport, gave me tips, and generally made my life easier.
- Daily housekeeping: My room was always spotless, even after I'd managed to spread chaos everywhere.
- Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Ironing service: Crucial for looking presentable, especially after that buffet.
- Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes: Practical.
- Currency exchange, Cash withdrawal, Convenience store, Gift/souvenir shop: All the essentials.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Again, clarify if you do need to be aware of.
Rooms: Your Personal Oasis (with Occasional Quirks)
My room was… well, it was spacious, comfortable, and came with nearly everything you'd expect.
- Additional Toilet, Air Conditioning, Bathtub, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: It was luxurious and there was a lot.
- Alarm clock: Always useful.
- Carpeting: Soft underfoot.
- Smoke detector: A must-have.
- Soundproofing: Appreciated, especially after a long night at the bar.
For the Kids & Family Time
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: The hotel is definitely family-friendly!
Getting Around & Getting In
- Airport transfer: Convenient.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Valet parking: Plenty of parking options.
- Check-in/out [express]: Fast and easy.
- Front desk [24-hour]: Always available.
Getting Around (and the Occasional Misadventure)
- Taxi service: Readily available.
Overall Vibe and My Honest Feelings
The Windsor is a fantastic place. It's perfect for a relaxing getaway, a romantic escape, or a family vacation. The grounds are beautiful, the facilities are top-notch, and the staff is friendly and helpful. The food is amazing. It’s a little bit of paradise in a crazy city.
What Could Be Better (Because No Place is Perfect)
- Accessibility Clarity: Seriously, Windsor. Let's get some clear and detailed accessibility information out there!
- Signage: Some directional signage could be improved. I'm still not entirely sure how I found my way back to my room half the time.
My Personal Moment of Glory (and My Only Regret)
I did a body scrub. It was, and remains, the pinnacle of my experience at the Windsor. I emerged smelling like a tropical garden and feeling like I’d been reborn. My only regret? Not doing it every single day.
The Imperfect Perfection: A Hotel Review
The Windsor has a slight messiness, even for a place of this standard. But that somehow makes it even more perfect. Everyone can have a memorable moments. Every hotel has faults, it's what makes them memorable. I can't recommend it enough.
My Persuasive Offer: Book Your Escape NOW!
Escape to Paradise at the Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club!
Are you dreaming of a getaway where you can truly unwind? Ditch the stress and embrace the bliss at the Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club in Nairobi. Imagine yourself:
- Sinking into a cloud-like bed in a spacious, well-appointed room.
- Wandering through lush, manicured gardens (and maybe getting a little lost!).
- Indulging in a world of culinary delights, from authentic African cuisine to international favorites.
- Rejuvenating your
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to plan a whirlwind tour of the Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club in Nairobi, Kenya. Brace yourselves – this isn't your sanitized travel brochure experience. This is life on the links, baby!
Windsor Woes and Wonderfuls: A Chaotic Kenyan Itinerary (aka My Brain Dump)
(Day 1: Arrival and Accidental Adventures)
Morning: The Great Nairobi Shuffle. Land at JKIA. Jet lag already kicking my butt. Seriously, why is it always this disorienting? The drive to the Windsor. Hopefully, it's not one of those bone-jarring, hours-long commutes. (Secretly hoping for a bumpy ride for a good story. Is that bad?) The van driver, bless his heart, seems to think all roads are negotiable at 80km/h. Whoa there, pal! Gotta remember to tip well. This is a survival situation.
Midday: Check-in and Closet Chaos. Alright, Windsor, let's see what you've got. Gorgeous lobby, I’ll give you that. That lobby is where the beautiful people apparently hang out, which immediately makes me question my choice of attire (basically, travel sweatpants and a slightly-too-worn t-shirt). The room? Lovely, classic colonial style. But… where do I put all this luggage? I didn't pack that much, did I? The closet situation is… challenging. It's like a tiny, wooden black hole filled with hangers.
Afternoon: The Course, (Mostly) Unscathed. Attempt at Golf. Right. I haven't swung a club in… a while. "Beginner's luck," I muttered to myself. The caddy, a wonderfully patient young man called James, looks thoroughly unimpressed by my… unique style. "You'll get it," James says, with a knowing look that probably translates to, "You might as well be swinging a pool noodle." The course is beautiful, though, truly. The air is crisp, the views are stunning. Kept hitting the ball into the rough. Lost count of how many balls. Let’s just say James got a good laugh. The actual important part? The incredible bird calls. Seriously, the soundscape is something else! I feel like I’m in a David Attenborough documentary. [Emotional Reaction: Pure, unadulterated, awe. This single experience felt like the best part of the day, all things considered. I will be back.]
Evening: Dinner Disaster and Hotel Hiccups. Dinner at one of the restaurants. (Think it was the Deli, or was it the main restaurant… See? Already the memories are blurring!) Food was… fine. My stomach is still adjusting to a new timezone. Ordered something I can't quite remember. The waiter, bless his heart, kept refilling my water glass even though my head was telling me I was probably already dehydrated, or drunk and the waiter definitely noticed. Later, back in the room, the AC went out… or maybe it was just confused, like me. Spent an hour fumbling with the thermostat, sweating and freezing. Finally gave up and just opened the window. Nairobi night noises: crickets, distant traffic, and… something that sounds like a hyena? Yikes.
(Day 2: More Golf, Spa Shenanigans, and Chicken Wings)
Morning: Lessons Learned (Maybe). Back on the course. More golf. This time, at least my shots are… slightly less embarrassing. James, my caddy, is definitely starting to enjoy the show, and so am I. I swear I’m hitting some decent ones and the others just keep going wrong. I realize that the swing isn’t the problem, it is the coordination of my arms and legs that is the issue… The sun is hitting my face, the air smells green, and for a moment, I feel almost… good.
Midday: Spa Day! (or Attempted Spa Day). Okay, this is where things get… interesting. Booked a massage. Or, tried to book one. The front desk seemed slightly understaffed. Finally got an appointment. Entered the spa and… Woah. Smells of lavender and… something else. Something earthy. (Is that me?). Massage was supposed to be bliss. It was… relaxing, yes. But also… I have a strong feeling it was not the best one of my life. The treatment was too brief for me to truly relax. Afterwards, I was offered a ginger tea. I felt slightly more human.
Afternoon: Poolside Ramblings and Snack Attacks. The pool… Gorgeous. Temperature is just… perfect. The pool staff are constantly cleaning it. They are amazing. Felt guilty that I didn’t have my own pool cleaner. Tried to read a book. Kept zoning out. People-watching. The other guests seemed to be enjoying their afternoon. Went to the poolside bar. Ordered the chicken wings. The wings, were, surprisingly, phenomenal! Juicy, spicy, perfect… a stark contrast to the weirdness of the morning. This is exactly what I needed. Spent a solid two hours just… being. The sun, heat, the food, the breeze.. pure joy. [Quirky Observation: People in safari hats are everywhere. Am I the only one who feels like I should get one? Do I need one? Decisions, decisions.]
Evening: Farewell Dinner and the Reality of Leaving. Another dinner. Decided to try the main restaurant this time. The ambiance is lovely, though a bit too formal for my current state of mind (and attire). The food is generally pretty good. Tried the local steak, it was tasty. But mostly, I am preoccupied with the fact that tomorrow I have to leave. Sigh. Said goodbye to the staff. Said goodbye to the staff. They are incredibly helpful and I’m going to miss the people. The staff were so lovely. Sighing for the rest of the night.
(Day 3: Departure and Lingering Longing)
Morning: Last Breakfast and Packing Panic. Final breakfast. Trying not to wolf it down like a starving animal. It's the last moment of the Windsor before the airport… Panic packing. Did I forget anything? Probably. Always do. The bathroom… is it okay that I didn’t clean it? Did I even use soap? Ah, whatever.
Midday: The Long Goodbye. Checkout from the hotel. Tears are already forming. One last look at the lobby. The staff smiles and says goodbye. The drive to the airport. Still not used to driving on the left side of the road. The airport… feels like a world away from the tranquility of the Windsor. This is going too fast.
Afternoon: Homebound, Head in the Clouds. The flight. Turbulence, naturally. Staring out the window, replaying the last few days in my head. The bird calls, the chicken wings, the… well, the golf. Wishing I could stay. Thinking about James and the course.
Evening: Back Home… Already Planning the Return. Back home. In my own bed. Exhausted, slightly grubby, and already dreaming of my return to the Windsor. Already checking flight prices. Yeah, this trip was messy, and imperfect. But also, utterly, wonderfully… perfect.
Escape to Paradise: Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club - FAQs (From Someone Who's Been There... and Survived!)
Is Windsor *really* paradise? Because, like, the website is LYING, right?
Okay, let's be honest, the website photos are probably touched up by a team of angels and Photoshop wizards. But… actually, yeah, it *can* feel like paradise. When the sun hits the lake just right, and you've got a Tusker in hand (more on that later!), you're pretty much golden. It's a *vibe*. Think slightly faded grandeur meets untamed beauty. Don't expect perfectly manicured lawns everywhere - there's character, let's say. Think… you know, a slightly eccentric aunt’s house, but with a golf course.
The key is managing expectations. You're not booking the Four Seasons. You're booking *Windsor*. And Windsor, with all its quirks, has a certain charm.
The golf course… is it actually golf-able? I have the handicap of a newborn zebra.
Look, my golf game is a comedy of errors. A *sad* comedy, actually. But the Windsor course? Surprisingly forgiving! It's beautiful - I swear, the views alone are worth the price of a horrific slice that sends your ball hurtling into the bush. But the layout? It's got a good mix of challenges, and I didn’t lose *all* my balls, which is a personal victory.
Here’s the thing: even if you’re a terrible golfer (like me), just embrace the chaos. Admire the scenery. Make friends with the caddies – they’re absolute lifesavers. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll accidentally hit a decent drive. Pure bliss! I mean, I did on the 14th, felt like Tiger Woods for about 3 seconds. Then I shanked the next shot into a bunker. Classic.
What about the food? Is it… you know… edible? Or is this a "bring your own snacks" situation?
Alright, the food… it's a mixed bag, like the weather in Nairobi. There's some *really* good stuff. The Sunday brunch is legendary, the buffet of a thousand temptations, a veritable feast! The curries are generally spot on, and the nyama choma (grilled meat) is usually pretty good. But… and there's always a but isn't there? Some dishes can be… let's say, 'variable'. One time I ordered a burger that was, and I'm not exaggerating, the size of my fist, and cooked to an almost charcoal texture. But hey, lesson learned! The good stuff more than makes up for it. And the breakfasts? Oh, the breakfasts! Eggs, bacon, sausage, the works. It's all there to fuel those golfing mishaps.
My advice? Explore the menus. Don't be afraid to ask for recommendations. And always, *always* try the Tusker beer. It's basically a compulsory part of the experience (See previous paradise comment!).
The rooms… are they actually clean? And are there bugs? (My biggest fear!)
Okay, deep breaths. The rooms are generally clean, yes. It's not sterile - again, this isn't a clinical facility, it’s a hotel with character! Think… comfortable, a bit dated, but perfectly functional. I've never encountered a plague of locusts (thankfully). I have seen a couple of tiny ants, but let's face it, you're in Africa. Bugs are part of the deal. Bring some spray, and don’t leave food lying around, and you should be fine.
I've stayed in the more 'rustic' cottages and in the main building. Honestly? The main building is a little more modern, but the cottages have a certain charm, tucked away amongst the greenery. Just make sure you check for cobwebs before you get comfortable! A quick scan will do the trick. I think I found one. But I’m being picky.
What's the atmosphere like? Is it romantic? Family-friendly? Stuffy? Am I going to feel out of place in my slightly-too-loud Hawaiian shirt? (Asking for a friend… obviously.)
The atmosphere is… relaxed. Definitely not stuffy. It's a good mix of people; couples, families, groups of friends, golfers, conference attendees. It *can* be romantic, particularly if you're into sunsets over the lake, and long dinners. Though I once saw a family have a full-blown argument at the breakfast buffet about someone taking too much scrambled egg, so… it's life, right? And yes, you’re welcome to wear your Hawaiian shirt. Seriously. Embrace it. You might even fit in. It’s the sort of place where the dress code seems to be “comfortable.” I suspect they've seen it all.
I think it depends on when you go. Weekends tend to be livelier, with more families around. Weekdays are quieter (more golf, I assume). The staff are generally friendly, and the service is usually good – sometimes a little slow, but hey, you’re on vacation! Don't rush. That’s what you’re there for.
What about the activities? Besides golf, is there anything to *do*? My attention span is a goldfish's.
Alright, if you're not into golf, you're not totally doomed! There are things to keep you occupied. There's a spa, which, let's be honest, is always a good idea. Massages are fantastic! There's a swimming pool. You can go for walks around the grounds (though watch out for rogue golf balls!). They sometimes have events, like themed dinners and live music (which can be hit or miss – I once found myself subjected to a cover band’s rendition of "Sweet Caroline" that went on… forever. Honestly). You can also just relax by the lake with a book and a drink and do absolutely nothing. Which, in my opinion, is the best activity of all. Especially if you can steal a few minutes of peace without being bothered!
And, it's Nairobi. You could always take a day trip into the city if you’re feeling adventurous. But let's be real: Windsor is perfect for a relaxing break, so you can avoid the traffic.
The service… will I have to fight for my food? Or my drink? Or… anything?
Look, service in Kenya is generally pretty relaxed. Windsor is no exception. It's not always lightning-fast, but the staff are usually friendly and helpful. Be patient. Smile. A little kindness goes a long way. And if something goes wrong, don’t be afraid to speakDelightful Hotels
